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每个人都会有和别人不一样的地方,不要因此把自己看成“异类”,埋头做鸵鸟。抬起头来轻松一笑,你会发现事情根本没你想得那么“糟糕”。
男孩闭上了眼睛。他讨厌这一刻。知道这一刻就要来了只能让情况更糟糕。
“约翰,约翰·狄龙?”老师大声叫道。男孩微微睁开一只眼,看到旁边那排人里有一个金发男孩笑容满面地举起手喊:“到!”他的牙齿洁白而整齐。所有的女孩都转过去看他。他笑得更灿烂了。
“珍妮弗,珍妮弗·法恩斯沃思?”老师接着叫道。男孩把双手搭在头上,好像只要他用力往下压就能找个地方躲起来似的。一个长发垂顺、耳翼上方别着蝴蝶结的女生举起手来。她说:“我叫珍,就叫我珍吧。”
男孩把两只胳膊交叠在一起,将头枕在上面,用两只手把头完全遮了起来。老师犹豫了一下。他知道那意味着老师已经念到班级出勤簿上他的名字了。他最终还是听到了那让他整整怕了一上午的声音:“迈伦,迈伦——”老师顿了很长时间。“格雷布什诺科瓦兹?”他紧咬牙齿,只等着窃笑声起,然后轻轻竖起食指。老师没看到是谁。她又低头看了眼花名册,然后更大声地叫道:“迈伦·H·Z·格雷布什诺科瓦兹?”哦,不要!发发善心吧!男孩像触了电似的,噌地一下坐直了。但还是太晚了。“迈伦·赫尔曼·佐尔特兰·格雷布什诺科瓦兹?”
这一次,全班爆笑起来。迈伦举起手来,脸涨得通红,羞怯地答了声“到”。“安静!”老师斥责全班同学,同时向迈伦报以同情的一瞥。迈伦只想在桌子底下找个地缝钻进去。
下课后,他纳闷儿同学们为什么没刻薄地奚落他。他们蜂拥着冲向那期望中的自由之地——走廊。约翰·狄龙从后面撞了他一下,搞得他身子前倾撞上了珍妮弗·法恩斯沃思的后背。珍妮弗猛地转过身来,两手紧握书本挡在胸前说:“你撞到我了!”迈伦正要跟她道歉,约翰·狄龙从他身后走上前来。“是我的错,”他说,“是我不小心撞到了——对了,你叫什么名字来着?”好哇,迈伦想,又来这一套。假装忘了我的名字,逼我大声说出来,然后好趁机取笑我。不如早点了事。“迈伦,”他轻声说,“我叫迈伦·格雷布什诺科瓦兹。”
出乎意料的是,约翰并没有奚落或者嘲弄他的想法,而只是友好地拍了一下他的后背。“好的,迈伦,我记住了。”珍妮弗也对他笑着说:“对不起,我错怪你了,迈伦。”
迈伦惊奇地呆立在原地,其他同学从他身边绕过去,鱼贯而出。他把厚厚的眼镜往鼻梁上方推了推。直到这时,他才看到黑板上的板书。这是他第一次看到老师的名字,只见紫色的大字写着:比格休诺兹布姆弗特小姐。
整整一个上午,迈伦第一次露出了笑容。毕竟,这个学年或许不至于太糟糕。
The boy closed his eyes. He hated this moment. Knowing it was coming just made it worse.
“John, John Dillon?”the teacher called out. The boy opened one eye a tiny bit.He saw a blond kid in the next row raise his hand and say “Here!”with a big smile. He had perfect teeth. All the girls turned to look at him. His smile got bigger.
“Jennifer, Jennifer Farnsworth?”the teacher continued. The boy put both hands on his head as if he could hide if he just pushed down hard enough. A girl with long, flowing hair and a butterfly pin above her ear raised her hand.“It’s Jen,”she said.“Just Jen.”
The boy folded his arms and rested his head on them, completely covering his head with his hands. The teacher hesitated. He knew that meant she had come to his place on the class attendance list. Finally, he heard what he had dreaded all morning.“Myron, Myron——”There was a long pause. “Glebschnockerwatz?” He clenched his teeth, waiting for the snickers to come, and then slightly raised his index finger. The teacher didn’t see it. She looked down again at her class list and said in an even louder voice.“Myron H.Z.Glebschnockerwatz?”Oh, no! Have mercy! The boy sat bolt upright as if from an electric shock. But it was too late.“Myron Herman Zoltran Glebschnockerwatz?”
This time the class erupted in laughter.Myron’s face turned beet red as he raised his hand.“Here,”he said in a timid voice.“Hush!”the teacher scolded the class while giving him a sympathetic look. Myron just wanted to disappear under his desk.
When the class ended, he wondered why he didn’t hear the cruel taunts of his fellow students. They were all crowding together and pushing toward the promised freedom of the hallway. John Dillon bumped him from behind, causing Myron to pitch forward right into the back of Jennifer Farnsworth. Jennifer whirled around clutching her books tightly to her chest.“You bumped me!”Myron was about to apologize when John Dillon stepped from behind him.“It was my fault,”he said.“I accidentally knocked——hey, what’s your name again?”Oh sure, Myron thought. That old trick. Pretend to forget my name so that you can make fun of it by forcing me to say it out loud. Might as well get it over with.“Myron,”he whispered.“My name’s Myron Glebschnockerwatz.”
To his surprise, John didn’t even try to taunt or tease. Instead, he just gave him a friendly slap on the back.“Right, Myron. I won’t forget.”Jennifer smiled at him.“Sorry I blamed you, Myron.”
Myron was so surprised he just stood there as the rest of the class filed out around him. He pushed his thick glasses higher on his nose. It was then he saw the writing on the board. This was the first time he was seeing the teacher’s name written in big purple letters: Miss Bighewjnozbumfoot.
Myron smiled for the first time that morning. Maybe this school year wouldn’t be so bad after all.(摘自2010年7月《英语沙龙》)